For parents who are going through a divorce, the fact that there will be changes for the kids is unavoidable. There are, however, many things that you can do to make the transition as smooth as possible. Although it can take time, constant communication and openness about your feelings towards the divorce, as well as about the changes in your life, can help children to adjust to family changes.
Choosing Co-Parenting Strategies
At a time when your life is already shattered, it can be even more difficult to think of ways to make the divorce a little easier on the kids. Staying connected with your ex-spouse through cooperative parenting strategies can help make the transition easier for children of all ages. Being a good co-parent does not mean that you are required to have a friendship with your former spouse; it just means that you both stay committed to keeping your children’s best interests at heart.
No matter what age your children are when the divorce occurs, they will feel the effects. Although it may be difficult, constant communication is essential. Setting ground rules early on will help to minimize conflict and stress for you, your ex-spouse, and the kids. Always keep your promises and be available when you say you will. It is also helpful to agree on routine changes, such as who will pick the kids up from school or how visitation will be arranged. Keeping everybody informed and keeping to the agreed-upon schedule minimizes chaos and uncertainty, which helps kids to adjust.
Especially if the divorce was unexpected, children might feel that they are responsible for the separation. Staying positive and being open about your feelings toward the divorce will help them to understand that it is not their fault. Even if you are both agreeing to the divorce and agreeing on co-parenting arrangements, do not disparage your former spouse to the kids. This can lead to emotional wounds that are far tougher to heal. Also, avoid negative references about your ex-spouse in front of the kids; this goes for email and social media posts as well.
Kids will usually adapt to changes quicker if they feel secure in the fact that their parents love them and want the best for them. Staying positive and keeping communication open will help your children to feel secure and loved, which in turn will help them to adjust to the changes. You may also find it helpful to put your own feelings about the divorce aside and be positive about your ex-spouse. This can help your children to stay grounded in the fact that they have a good family environment and a good relationship with both parents.
No matter what arrangements you make with your ex-spouse, keep ground rules consistent. Do not change agreements without giving your ex-spouse notice and ample time to prepare. Be clear and consistent about how ground rules should be implemented and stick to them.
Talk to a Cook County Divorce Attorney Today
If you need representation for a divorce or child support matter in Cook County, Glasgow & Olsson is here to help. When you need an attorney, experience matters. Contact us today to learn how our experience can get you the results you deserve.